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...consectetuer adipiscing elit. Donec condimentum nibh I'm watching one cute boy pour tea, one cute boy bake croissants and one cute boy wash dishes. It's like domestic porn. My mouth is all wet. vel, arcu. Ut fermentum laoreet pede. Aliquam a ligula sit amet est interdum semper. Cras sit amet massa. Proin luctus....
...nibh eget magna. Class So either I have the flu or I participated in a game of touch football with a rhinoceros and slept through it. a ligula sit amet est interdum semper. Cras sit amet massa. Proin luctus. Suspendisse condimentum dolor et ante. Mauris ac...
...elit. Donec condimentum nibh Dessert sounds nice, but I'm trying to watch my neighbor's girlish figure. Maybe later. fringilla et, adipiscing et, suscipit vel, arcu. Ut fermentum laoreet pede. Aliquam a ligula sit amet est interdum semper. Cras sit amet massa. Proin luctus. Suspendisse condimentum dolor et ante. Mauris ac pede gravida neque molestie faucibus. Quisque tempus,...
...nibh eget magna. Class aptent taciti There is no reason to partake in a triathalon unless you're being chased by a circus bear. ipsum, fringilla et, adipiscing et, suscipit vel, arcu. Ut fermentum laoreet pede. Aliquam a ligula sit amet est interdum...
...Donec condimentum nibh eget magna. David Lee Roth takes the "class" out of classic rock. Which leaves only the ick. et, adipiscing et, suscipit vel, arcu. Ut fermentum laoreet pede. Aliquam a ligula sit amet est interdum semper. Cras sit amet massa. Proin luctus. Suspendisse condimentum dolor et ante. Mauris ac pede gravida neque molestie faucibus. Quisque tempus, urna et rutrum condimentum, ipsum orci...
...Lorem ipsum dolor sit If brains had measurements, this girl would be a knockout. And I mean that her intellect would measure up to that of an unconscious person. adipiscing et, suscipit vel, arcu. Ut fermentum laoreet pede. Aliquam a ligula sit amet est interdum...
...sociosqu ad litora torquent per conubia My dad's making me watch UFC with him. He keeps yelling, "These are real men!" Unsure if he's trying to come out or scare me back to girls. et, adipiscing et, suscipit vel, arcu. Ut fermentum laoreet pede. Aliquam a ligula sit amet est interdum semper. Cras sit...
...amet, consectetuer adipiscing elit. Donec I learned about sex from hamsters, which is why I know that babies are kept behind glass in hospitals to stop the mother from eating them. vel, arcu. Ut fermentum laoreet pede. Aliquam a ligula sit amet est interdum semper. Cras sit...
...aptent taciti sociosqu ad Six hundred blowjobs to the man who invents a silent lawnmower. Six hundred more if it's invented ten minutes ago and given to my neighbor. adipiscing et, suscipit vel, arcu. Ut fermentum laoreet pede. Aliquam a ligula sit amet est interdum semper....
...sociosqu ad litora torquent per conubia My new euphemism for the male orgasm: baby shower. et, suscipit vel, arcu. Ut fermentum laoreet pede. Aliquam a ligula sit amet est interdum semper. Cras sit amet massa. Proin luctus. Suspendisse condimentum dolor et ante. Mauris ac pede gravida neque molestie faucibus....
...sit amet, consectetuer adipiscing The pomp, circumstance, flowers, and uncomfortable clothing of funerals make them feel like a birthday party for a royal with sleep apnea. interdum semper. Cras sit amet massa. Proin luctus. Suspendisse condimentum dolor et ante. Mauris ac pede gravida neque molestie faucibus....
...per conubia nostra, per inceptos Loafers with tassels are mutton chops for the feet. pede. Aliquam a ligula sit amet est interdum semper. Cras sit amet massa. Proin luctus. Suspendisse condimentum dolor et ante. Mauris ac pede gravida neque molestie faucibus. Quisque tempus, urna et rutrum condimentum, ipsum...
...litora torquent per conubia nostra, per I stay behind bad drivers for the same reason cheerleaders eat next to fat girls. The VW I'm tailing makes me look like an Autobahn master. amet est interdum semper. Cras sit amet massa. Proin luctus. Suspendisse condimentum dolor et ante....
...sociosqu ad litora torquent "Don't pee on the princess. It makes the princess sad." So she takes off the princess panties and urinates right there on the floor. ipsum, fringilla et, adipiscing et, suscipit vel, arcu. Ut fermentum laoreet pede. Aliquam a ligula sit amet est interdum...
...dolor sit amet, consectetuer Breaking News: Timbaland called in to help remix Medicare. a ligula sit amet est interdum semper. Cras sit amet massa. Proin luctus. Suspendisse condimentum dolor et ante. Mauris ac pede gravida neque molestie faucibus. Quisque tempus, urna et rutrum condimentum, ipsum orci viverra dolor, sed...
...elit. Donec condimentum nibh eget Ii got a bunch of turtles from the pet store but I still don't know how to shoot them at the cars in front of me. a ligula sit amet est interdum semper. Cras sit amet massa. Proin luctus. Suspendisse condimentum dolor et ante....
...eget magna. Class aptent taciti sociosqu "My trial is next week. You can't come." "What?! Why not?" "Jon, last time you made 'whoop whoop' noises and the judge had to 'shush' you." ligula sit amet est interdum semper. Cras sit amet massa. Proin luctus. Suspendisse condimentum dolor et ante. Mauris...
...Class aptent taciti sociosqu ad litora Can't decide if my evening should be full of medication or heavy machinery. semper. Cras sit amet massa. Proin luctus. Suspendisse condimentum dolor et ante. Mauris ac pede gravida neque molestie faucibus. Quisque tempus, urna et rutrum condimentum, ipsum orci viverra dolor, sed tempor purus mi nec mi. Praesent consectetuer adipiscing tellus. Fusce eleifend aliquet purus. ...
...sit amet, consectetuer adipiscing elit. Donec There is no way I can hear the words "Phillips-head screwdriver" and not be mildly curious about Phillip. arcu. Ut fermentum laoreet pede. Aliquam a ligula sit amet est interdum semper. Cras sit...
...dolor sit amet, consectetuer I just negotiated the release of some Fig Newtons. Aliquam a ligula sit amet est interdum semper. Cras sit amet massa. Proin luctus. Suspendisse condimentum dolor et ante. Mauris ac pede gravida neque molestie faucibus. Quisque tempus, urna et rutrum condimentum, ipsum orci viverra dolor, sed tempor purus mi nec mi. Praesent consectetuer adipiscing tellus....
...ad litora torquent per conubia OH: So you're married? Is it serious? Ut fermentum laoreet pede. Aliquam a ligula sit amet est interdum semper. Cras sit amet massa. Proin luctus. Suspendisse condimentum dolor et ante. Mauris ac pede gravida neque molestie faucibus. Quisque tempus, urna et rutrum condimentum, ipsum...
...taciti sociosqu ad litora Kids say the darndest things. Which is why I've recently taken to gagging mine. vel, arcu. Ut fermentum laoreet pede. Aliquam a ligula sit amet est interdum semper. Cras sit amet massa. Proin luctus. Suspendisse condimentum dolor et ante. Mauris ac pede gravida neque molestie faucibus. Quisque tempus, urna...
...torquent per conubia nostra, per inceptos When they say elevator repair men always get it up, they aren't talking about their belt. If he turns around I will see some sort of shaft. adipiscing et, suscipit vel, arcu. Ut fermentum laoreet pede. Aliquam a ligula sit amet est interdum...
...ad litora torquent per conubia nostra, There comes an hour every night where "jogging" just looks like "running from the cops while listening to Coldplay." Ut fermentum laoreet pede. Aliquam a ligula sit amet est interdum semper. Cras sit amet massa. Proin luctus. Suspendisse condimentum...
...consectetuer adipiscing elit. Donec condimentum Spent the entire evening wrestling with a new wireless printer. Probably should have spent that time trying to set it up. adipiscing et, suscipit vel, arcu. Ut fermentum laoreet pede. Aliquam a ligula sit amet est interdum semper. Cras...
...consectetuer adipiscing elit. Donec condimentum nibh Nosy Woman at Mall: Cute baby! Is she breastfed? Me: Trough-fed. Berries and sticks, mostly. amet est interdum semper. Cras sit amet massa. Proin luctus. Suspendisse condimentum dolor et ante. Mauris ac pede gravida neque molestie faucibus. Quisque tempus, urna et rutrum condimentum, ipsum orci viverra dolor, sed tempor purus mi nec mi. Praesent consectetuer adipiscing tellus. Fusce...
...Class aptent taciti sociosqu ad I'm skipping the meeting to take a nap under my desk, because my beauty sleep is far more important than my future at this company. pede. Aliquam a ligula sit amet est interdum semper. Cras sit amet massa. Proin luctus. Suspendisse...
...magna. Class aptent taciti sociosqu This is one of those days when my thoughts turn to darker things, like brownies and chocolate pudding. ligula sit amet est interdum semper. Cras sit amet massa. Proin luctus. Suspendisse condimentum dolor et...
...sit amet, consectetuer adipiscing elit. I need twelve new moms with flexible morals for a monthly baby swap. Mine's getting boring. interdum semper. Cras sit amet massa. Proin luctus. Suspendisse condimentum dolor et ante. Mauris ac pede gravida...
...consectetuer adipiscing elit. Donec condimentum nibh Half of the appeal of staying up late is the total absence of morning people. fermentum laoreet pede. Aliquam a ligula sit amet est interdum semper. Cras sit amet massa. Proin luctus. Suspendisse condimentum dolor et ante. Mauris ac pede gravida neque molestie faucibus. Quisque tempus, urna et rutrum condimentum, ipsum orci viverra dolor, sed tempor purus mi...
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